I have this thing 

I have a thing for leaving places 

Like I have a thing for wandering 

For following the music wherever I go 

For trusting people when I shouldn’t 

For falling like a rock at the bottom of the ocean 

For learning to swim like a fish in the sea 

For looking at the sun even if it blinds me

For leaving places even if I like them. 

I have a thing for change. Or chance (?)

She wouldn’t understand

How people were ment for eachother, how they meet without warning, how stars can be so beautiful, how shiny can some eyes be. She wouldn’t understand and she wouldn’t want to. She wants just to be happy and take things as they come, to stop asking questions and stop making decisions. She isn’t ready to decide what’s good and what’s bad and she isn’t even allowed to decide that. 

She wouldn’t understand how they would have meet despite everything in this world, but she knows it. She wouldn’t understand either how she could fall in love like an idiot, but she did it. And she wouldn’t understand what kind of love it is, but what matters is that it exists. It’s a soulmate thing. And if she doesn’t understand that no matter what, souls never fall apart and they will always atract eachother with an enormous power, she will never see that this is not a thing she can control. She’s powerless and vulnerability was always the thing she loved the most. She’s powerless in front of that contagious smile. 


Warning: do not talk to me if you’re not ready to face my fears. And she was ready. I named her Columb ‘cause she wanted to discover my romantic side. It was never easy, I’m the one that loves and keeps her mouth shut. Because of that people around me think the worst about me. That’s what you get when you replace vulnerability with power. And I don’t really care about what people think, only what she thinks. Or, better said, what she feels. And now it feels like she’s ready to face all my fears and I don’t want her to pay this price. I need to learn to dose my not so better parts and how to fight the changes that got me where I am. I am willing to be better. I am grateful. 

Happy half of year, love